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Last night I had an odd dream. I know dreams are always way more interesting to the dreamer than they are to anyone who has to hear about them. But that’s the advantage of the blog. I can write about my dream so that I remember it and pretend that someone out there cares enough to read about it.

In my dream, I was leaving work on Friday, and remembered that I had booked myself a short cruise that was leaving that afternoon. Since it was just me, and it wasn’t a very long cruise, I just left straight from work. When I got to the port, I realized I didn’t have my cruise ticket with me. But I knew that e-ticketing was an option, so I just figured I’d show my ID and would get on just fine. Turns out it was even easier than that – I just boarded the boat with the crowd and no one asked for my ID. Since I was late to board, I hadn’t’ had the opportunity to get my room assignment. Instead of being a little bitch, and demanding my room (since it was my fault I was late) I figured I’d just wait until everyone got settled, and check in with a steward once we left port to find my room

So I was waiting in one of the ballrooms, and when I saw a couple of familiar faces. Jimmy and Margarita were on my cruise too! They raved about how amazing it was that we were both on the exact same cruise but had somehow managed to not know in advance. About this time I started to get nervous. Surely I would have known if they were going the same time I was. So I went and asked about my cabin. The steward asked for my confirmation number or anything to reference my cabin. I had none of this. About this time I dug through my briefcase and found my actual ticket. My cruise was next weekend. Not this weekend. Which means I was on a 5 day cruise, and not a 3 day cruise, and neither Phlome nor my boss knew I was on a boat and would not be back on Monday.

So I asked when I could get off the boat. It would be Monday before we would reach or next port, and we were already at sea. There was no stopping. I was stuck, and with no way of contacting anyone. So as I’m panicking, I look out the window and see that we are very close to the shore. I mean REALLY close. Like I could just step off the boat and I would land on the boardwalk. Evidently this particular cruise took a route right through the middle of a small shopping villa in Massachusetts. So I took a running leap off the boat – landed on the side walk and walked into an internet café.

Now that I was off the boat my cell phone worked fine. So I called Phlome – told him I would be home really late tonight, then began my search for my way off this island/cape/town thing I had landed myself on.

Tomorrow we drive down to Galveston (technically Texas City).  Then Sunday morning we’re goin’ cruisin!

But before that - I have happy hour tonight, and then the Panoptikon 4th anniversary party, and have to finish packing.

So ready to slow down on the cruise.  I should just leave my watch at home.  But I know I’ll want it with me.

So here’s what we’ve got coming up in the next month or so for me:

• Tonight (7/12) I have to go try and track down a pencil skirt and/or blouse to pull together a “Sexy Librarian” outfit for the show this Friday (see below).
• Tomorrow (7/13) night I have rehearsal for the show on Friday (Grotesque Burlesque).
• Wednesday (7/14) night is Game night.
• Thursday (7/15) night is the final dress rehearsal for Grotesque Burlesque. We also have a softball game, but I’ll have to miss it – since I’m kinda in charge of the stage hands for the show – I really can’t miss rehearsal.
• Friday (7/16) is Grotesque Burlesque, pretty much from the time I leave work until 1 or 2 in the morning.
• Saturday (7/17) Phlome and I need to get an early-ish start and head up to OK for his 20 year HS reunion.
• Sunday (7/18) after more reunion activities and visiting family we’ll head back home.
• Monday (7/19) morning I drive down to Austin for a terribly exciting “TCEQ Training Providers Seminar” which will run through Wednesday afternoon.
• Thursday (7/22) we have a double header – and hopefully our last night of softball for the season.
• Friday (7/23) night we’ll make a short trip out to the club, come home earlier than usual and get ready for Saturday morning.
• Saturday (7/24) we’ll head South to Texas City, where we’ll spend the evening before our cruise
• Sunday (7/25) drive 20 minutes into Galveston and board the boat
  • Where we’ll be until Saturday the 21^st – WHOO HOOOOOOO!
• Then the next Friday (8/6) I have another show at the Lakewood
• I get to go back to Austin on Friday the 13^th – not sure if I’m going down Thursday or Friday yet – or if I’m coming back Friday or Saturday
• Then we’re hosting our Christmas in July in August (aka A very Beaver Christmas) on August 14^th
• Family reunion August 20 – 22
• Then a show at Excuses: Pantheon II – Ancient Boogaloo! In late August.

It doesn’t slow down a whole lot after that – in September I have more shows, at least one concert and a wedding. By then it’ll be time to start getting ready for Halloween, then the Holidays. This year is practically over already. *sigh*

So evidently when it comes to panty wrangling – I’m the one. I’ve worked with all the major producers in the Dallas area. Starting to wonder if I should draw up a contract with specific requirements, if you want me to wrangle. Some points I would include:

• I must attend at least one dress rehearsal
• No props to exceed 30 lbs
• No more than 2 props per panty wrangler/stage hand
• I will only work with certain stage managers
• No two prop-heavy performances should occur back to back
• Guaranteed pay in advance of each show

Okay – that last one is never gonna happen. But it’d be nice. I hate having to sit around and wait to get paid. It’s not like I just stop when the show is over. I normally help load and move props, plus the stage clean up. Having to sit around for an hour after that is annoying.

Maybe I’m just not made for show business.

Or maybe I’m becoming a Diva.

Speaking of - Next shows:

• Friday night at The Lakewood – with a special performance by our very own “Michael Jackson”
• July 16 @ the Church Lollie Bombs v Bit Rot in another Grotesque Burlesque feature White Meat the Clown

And I’m taking the month of August off.

In theory I’m saving up my money for our cruise at the end of July – but in reality I’m spending money for our cruise at the end of July. I bought a cute pair of red dressy sandals for my red dress which I have yet to wear. Last night I spend $103 on two dresses for the cruise. One is formal and one is casual. If I remember correctly there are two formal nights on the cruise – so I still need another formal dress. However, I have plenty of other dresses for dinners on the cruise – one I may be able to pull off/dress up for one of the formal nights.

Here is the formal dress:
- This one has a lovely back with lace embellishments

And the casual: - This one I didn’t really need, I have plenty of casual dresses for the cruise – but I like it.

I think I need more shoes now.

I know. I’m a big fat liar…again.

I’d say I just haven’t had much to update about – or maybe I’ve just got too much going on that I don’t get around to it. While those seem contradictory, they both seem true.

Our softball team is getting it’s ass handed to them on a weekly basis now – I’m ready for this season to end, so we can start in the fall with more evenly match teams.

I’m afraid I may be getting burned out on panty wrangling. Or maybe I just had way too much going on last week before the shows. My next one is July 2^nd, then July 16^th, then August 6^th. I’m missing the August lollies show due to a family reunion in OK. I’m still trying to convince Phlome that he should go. I don’t want to make him go, but I doubt I can convince him to want to go.

Work has me going to Austin about once a month here during the summer. My first trip was last Thursday and Friday, my next one is late July – just before our cruise. Then I might be going back in August – depends on if my boss approves it.

Speaking of cruise. We’re planning our excursions now. I think we’ve decided on:

Sandals in Jamaica

Sting Ray snorkeling in Cozumel

Secret River in Grand Cayman

I may have those last two mixed up.

Ok – end of day - time to go home now…whoo!

A good while back I used MS Paint to draw a cartoon depiction of one of Eddie Izzard’s comedy bits. It was the Volcano/Dragonfly bit. I’m not real sure what ever happened to it. So I drew it again. I think the second one was better, so I posted it on facebook. I then decided to draw a depiction of my the Badger joke from Sexie – that one is so lame it makes me laugh every time. Then I started working the giraffe coughing bit, but struggled for a good while trying to actually draw a giraffe. But I gave up on the tiger, and just pasted in an image I got from google images – I think it’s just the head of a generic tiger mascot image. So for your entertainment I am including these images here on my blog. (At Zero’s request). It also finally gives me something to blog about again. J

Picture 1 Volcano - Dragonfly

Picture 2 Badgers CAN be Choosers

Picture 3 *cough* *cough* *tiger*

There’s something about getting in and out of a vehicle that causes memory lapses. I often have an idea, or thought, or task I need to remember to do when I get to work. By the time I get into my car to drive to work I will have forgotten it. Likewise, I frequently have awesome ideas while drive to work (or somewhere), but as soon as I step out of the vehicle the thought is gone.

So I had a great idea for a blog post today, but forgot it on my way back to work after lunch.

Since I’m already half-way through the week I thought I’d stick with the Party Monster theme.

So as I said, I’ve applied for a new position at work. I had my interview yesterday. I feel it went well, but from what I understand of the interviewer, that means absolutely nothing. She has no problem making you feel all warm and fuzzy, while knowing full well that she has no intentions of hiring you. She’s done this to at least two other people I work with so far. (Yes, there’s been quite a bit of turnover in her department lately – none of it her fault – it’s a long story). One might think that knowing some of what I know of her, I might not want to work with her. My current situation is worse – there’s no need to go there. I honestly think the current issues in her department stem from the dramatic change in management styles as a result of the last few months of tumultuous turnovers. The previous supervisor was every employees dream. She didn’t take anyone’s shit, but at the same time she was someone you could easily talk to and she would have your back, or let you know why otherwise. Anyway, the new manager is far more structured, and the whole department is having trouble adjusting.

Today I’ve been in several meetings with my current boss who made it very clear to me today, that while she won’t do anything to prevent me from taking advantage of an opportunity, she’s not fond of the idea of me leaving. I can understand that. But there’s not a whole lot she can really do to keep me. She can offer me new and exciting projects. But she can’t promote me (nowhere to promote me to), and with the current budget/raise/hiring freeze, she can’t offer me a raise either. This new position would consist of both a raise and a promotion. However, I must admit the new project that was proposed today, could be exciting and interesting – something new to keep me busy. We had lunch today with one of the consultants while discussing how best to sell the idea to the upper echelon, and the consultant and I got hung up on one phrase. We were trying to emphasize the importance of knowledge retention and training in relation to the issues of an aging workforce. There’s a very specific phrase that describes it perfectly. I just could not bring it to mind. Neither could the consultant. We spent half of lunch coming back to this one phrase. Two words. Finally we both got out our blackberries to try and find out what it was. I finally found it on a blog about planning for an aging workforce.

Succession Planning. It’s a great phrase, and big wigs love it. They know it’s an issue because the bigwigs are the aging workforce and they’ve got to find someone to take their place if they want to retire soon.

Today made me miss being a consultant. I loved the constant change. I’m not the type that likes to do the same job day in and day out. I actually like sleeping in hotels, and I love sharing my specific knowledge on a topic, now that I have the experience and knowledge to share. When I was a consultant I was an entry level peon who just put all the knowledge together. Now I actually have something to contribute. Today has been a good day. I’ve been complimented on my current work, been told by my boss she doesn’t want to lose me, and contributed greatly to the brainstorming of a new big project.

Today it’s been good to be me – and that’s better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!

Another quote from Party Monster today. I may have to watch the movie again soon. Getting involved in the Burlesque community has really allowed the closeted exhibitionist in me to peak out just a bit. I love the glamour of the girls who actually perform, and I like getting a little taste of it myself. I’m quite certain my obsession with Drag Queens/Boys in Dresses/Cross-dressers is directly related to my enjoyment of all things glamorous (except that song by Fergie). But I like being able to turn it on and off. I couldn’t handle being glamorous all the time – it’s exhausting. I like to just be able to go out in jeans and a tshirt now and then. I love that I can just wear jeans and a t-shirt to work now and then. Sometimes I wish I could glam up at work…I guess maybe I could for Halloween. I wonder if I could go as rosie the riveter with fake eyelashes? Too much? Possibly, but not a bad idea.

I have a job interview today, for a position in a different department here at work. Same location, different building, different kind of work. I want the job. I don’t think I’m going to get the job. Maybe someday when I’m in charge of hiring I’ll gain an understanding of why folks will hire someone who they know nothing about other that what it says on their resume. I will come in to this interview with experience on every application used, experience working well with everyone in the department, and experience doing most of what is required of the job, while an employee here. I just won’t have had that specific job title anywhere else I’ve been. They’ll probably hire someone who has held the title, who has never used any of the applications we use here, and who has never actually worked with anyone here, or in the industry. And that person will leave as soon as something else comes up. I’m applying so that I can extend my career here. It’s very frustrating because I’ve seen them do it before. They talk about how often people move around with in a company, but I’ve seen very few examples of it actually happening.

I would love working in the new department, I get along well with everyone, and it would be nice to work under a different management style. And it’s a position that has the potential for growth. There’s no growth for me here. I’ve been here just over 2 years, I’m not stagnating yet, but I don’t want get to that point either. I hate getting my hopes up. I’m going to sit here and sulk, now, and remind myself why I won’t be getting the job, before I go home for lunch and get dressed for the interview.